Cold Morning with J D Salinger

I woke up late today. It's cold outside. I don't wanna say freezing because obviously it's not. It's just a bit cold and I hate days like this. It makes you wanna stay in bed a bit longer. I wanted to spend few more minutes with my Disney pillow which by the way I can't sleep without. But that's a case to case basis. Of course, I don't pack my rather old and disgusting pillow with me on trips. That would be very immature.

So I was there feeling the cold air touching my skin when I realized that it was almost 9:00 AM. I have to take a shower and get ready for my daily brain-draining routine. I slept quite late last night. In fact, I had to find an excuse to get up at 3:00 AM and read about Holden Caulfield from J D Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye. I had to stick with my "empty my bladder" excuse to wake up and catch up with the chapter I last laid my eyes on. I must've fallen asleep trying to picture out the characters in the book. I guess I somehow managed to chuckle while I was halfway through my REM. I love Holden. I almost see myself in him. Sarcastic, a bit of an ass, the kind who see things in a totally different perspective. Well, I may not have been kicked out of school but I can sure identify with some of the details in his life. I too have failed people just like him. People who expected a lot from me. I just don't get it. It's so annoying when people start to feel sorry because you didn't make it to the top of your class when you yourself don't give a damn about it. The odd thing is that you didn't asked them to expect anything from you and I'm pretty sure that I haven't promised them anything. So, why sweat?

I wasn't sure if was it my bitter childhood, my too complicated adolescence or my extremely horrendous adult life that turned me into a breathing example of sarcasm and irony. All I know is that I used to be this timid, less opinionated girl who basically cares about nothing but her small not-so-ravishing world. My parents must've thought that I'm some kind of autistic. But they like it that way I guess. They thought I was some kind of a gifted child or something. Well, the news is I'm absolutely NOT! I used to be a nonexistent being just like the rest of the people in this world. The kind who by just mere coincidence you can tell that they're willing to kiss ass. Well, I guess things changed a lot. I just don't know if it's for the better or for the worse but nevertheless I know that I'm better now. I can feel it.

I' m almost done with Salinger's book. I almost missed lunch because I'm quite obsessed with it. Lib and Charlie were both right when they said that I will like it. Like it is actually an understatement. I'm thinking of writing a review about it but on the second thought I have to finish the whole book first before I can do that. Hey, I want to give some justice to Salinger's work. My work may not be as good as his or worst it may not pass his standards but I want to give it a shot anyway. It's a free country they say...do whatever pleases you!