Manic-Depressive

I always suspect that something is wrong with what's inside my skull. After a period of self-loathing (I think after is a bit inappropriate because I still do that even up to this time but with decreasing frequency. Which could only mean two things - either the prognosis is good or maybe I just grew tired of doing the same thing over and over again), I came to realize that maybe there's a truth behind all my suspicions. So I started scouring my clouded judgment and started to look deeper into some self-inflicted issues.

After doing some really grueling research and reading and more reading, I am finally convinced that I am indeed a manic-depressive or as what most would call it a bipolar but of course I'd like to think that it's not pathological otherwise I'll be compelled to sit with my shrink (I don't have one yet so if you're interested please send me your resume) or to pop some elite-sounding pills.

For starters, bipolar is a mood disorder with some episodes of mania or hypomania and some depressive episode in which either of them occurs after the other or if you're lucky enough you experience both at the same time. I haven't experienced the latter, not yet, but I guess I've been through both hypomania and depression. If you're living in such crazy world like ours, who wouldn't? The Koh-Halili scandal and politician on a pedicab are enough to cause schizophrenia. Even the weather is bipolar. That's according to Zafra with some insights from Charlie, Al Gore's angel.

Despite all the researches and the readings, I'm still in doubt if my manic-depressive behavior can be considered as clinical. I mean do I fit in any of the categories? My bet is that I fall in the "hypomanic episode". This one is a bit common to all since it does not involve any delusions or hallucinations. Makes sense to me.

Although it is clear to me that indeed I maybe a bipolar, there's this one thing that baffles me - how come I haven't shaved my head yet? I haven't thought of it. NEVER!

I'm not proud that I am a possible candidate for a manic-depressive personality but if that would explain my horrendous mood swings then let it be. A lot of people have the same personality I bet. They just remained under the radar. Undiagnosed that is. And guess what?! Virginia Woolf, the famed novelist, and Ludwig van Beethoven, the composer, are just few of the hundreds and probably thousands of people who have had a bipolar personality.

Other bipolars include: Kurt Cobain the musician, Patricia Cornwell the crime writer, Charles Dickins (of course you know him), Carrie Fisher the actress (Trinity in the Matrix), Macy Gray (you know her right?), Ernest Hemingway the writer (again), Jack Irons former drummer of Red Hot Chili Pepper and Pearl Jam, Ben Moody of Evanescence, Sir Isaac Newton (now tell me who doesn't want to be a manic-depressive?), Florence Nigthingale the nurse, Ozzy Osbourne of the Black Sabbath, Edgar Allan Poe (no wonder I like his works so much), Sidney Sheldon (the list just got better), Mark Twain the author of Huckleberry Fin among others (will somebody please officially diagnose me now!), and Vincent van Gogh [sighs]...[sighs some more].

Even Jean-Claude van Damme is a bipolar. Does he kick people when his in a manic episode and cry when he's depressed? Just wondering. lol! (I'm having a hypomania episode right now...shhhhh...). and Oh! Don't forget Ben Stiller, Alanis Morisette, and (who else?) Britney Spears. They're on the list too!